More than a smile
We’ve just begun our mid year Let’s Talk series on Community and it has got me thinking so many thoughts. As you will know I love grammar so Gerard’s teaching last Sunday about community not being third person was just glorious. So with that in mind, I have been hunting for some great tips to help us do one of the basics of community better - making welcoming more than a smile.
Nicky and I have visited lots of churches and the normal way you get welcomed as a newcomer is a glance, an awkward smile and a truncated hi, all while the person walks past you on to something more important. In one church, we were greeted with the words, “you can’t bring that in here”. I will leave you guessing as to what we had in our hands.
To welcome someone well, you need more than a smile - but not too much more. And it is not just newcomers who need welcoming. We all should welcome each other every week with more than a smile. We know that not everyone can know everyone but we want everyone to be known. So what might that look like?
Well, first, let me say the three obvious things that I hope you are always doing that will help you welcome well. First, turn up; second, turn up early, and third, pray more. Being together is so wonderful and wrapping your Sundays (or Tuesdays) in prayer is more than an added extra, it’s the essential ingredient. It’s hard to welcome well if you are not there, arrive late or not spiritually prepared. Perhaps pray as you get out of your car or as you walk through the carpark (10 minutes before church ) that God would ready you to welcome with more than a smile.
Alright, so you have arrived. Well done. What next? Well here are 6 tips to help you do this well.
1. Smile and make eye contact: A warm smile and eye contact signal that you’re open to connection. They can break the initial awkwardness and invite a response. As lots of welcoming trainers say, “the first and most important thing any person can do is smile”. It communicates genuine welcome and warmth. So, in case you were worried, I am not against smiling, but welcoming can’t stop there.
2. Introduce yourself and use names: Start with your own name and ask for theirs: “Hi, I’m Nigel, what’s your name?” Using someone’s name later in the conversation shows care and attentiveness (It also helps you remember their name!). Getting to know the names of people who sit around you is a key part of growing a welcoming church.
3. Ask open-ended questions: Move beyond “How are you?” and try questions like, “What brought you here today?” or “How long have you been coming to this church?” These invite stories, not just yes-or-no answers. Start with simple questions and move to the profound if it seems natural. On the way to church you could brainstorm some simple, friendly questions that help people open up whether they have been in church for 40 years or 40 seconds.
4. Look for the person who is sitting or standing alone: Be intentional about noticing people who are by themselves. It’s one of the best ways to foster community - just going up to the person saying hello. They may be feeling nervous or left out, and your approach could make a big difference. Take a friend and meet a new friend, take your whole family and meet a whole family.
5. Invite them into something: If the conversation goes well, take the next step, invite them to come and meet some friends after the service, to go and grab a coffee or dinner afterwards, or attend your Growth Group or Share Life Mondays. Bridging the gap between Sunday gatherings and community is essential if we want to build 3000 wholehearted disciples of Jesus.
6. Be yourself and trust God: Don’t feel pressure to be flashy or overly spiritual. Just be present and available. Tim Keller once said, “God uses ordinary people to show His love in extraordinary ways.” A simple, genuine conversation may be more significant than you realise.
So, more than a smile, but not too much more. What might you have a crack at this week?
