Turning Strangers into Friends

One of my children started Kindergarten this year, and her enthusiasm for making friends seems boundless. She comes home most afternoons with stories about the new little buddies she has played with at recess and lunch. If I can get a word in edgewise, I’ll often ask something like, “What do you like most about your new friend?”

Her answers are sweet and profound.

“They help me find good hiding spots in hide and seek.”

“They’re kind to me.”

“They just have really good facts.”

I love seeing the world through the eyes of a five-year-old. Inspired by her youthful zeal, I have been wondering what it would look like to bring a bit of this kindy playground spirit into our church life. 

In her book ‘Extraordinary Hospitality for Ordinary People’, Carolyn Lacey describes Christian hospitality as the beautiful work of turning strangers into friends. Hospitality is not simply opening our homes; it is opening our lives. It is making space for people, noticing them, welcoming them and inviting them into genuine relationships.

When was the last time you considered this beautiful work?

In our everyday lives, and even in our time together gathered as God’s people each week on Sundays and Tuesdays, many of us naturally gravitate toward familiar faces. There’s comfort in catching up with those we know well and already love, and that’s a good thing! But it’s worth reflecting on whether we are in or out of the habit of approaching unfamiliar faces from time to time.

Of course, this can feel daunting.

Many of us are busy. Some of us are carrying significant burdens, griefs or hardships. Sometimes we just feel awkward introducing ourselves to someone we don’t know.

But our confidence to welcome others into our lives doesn’t come from having endless energy, unlimited capacity or the oft-wished-for gift of remembering names. 

It comes from knowing the God who welcomed us and brought us near when we had done nothing to deserve it. Romans 5:10 reminds us that while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son. We were not simply strangers to God, we were separated from him because of sin. Yet through Jesus we have been adopted into his family as his children (Ephesians 1:5).

The God who turns enemies into his very own beloved children is the same God who invites us to offer that same welcome to others. Christian hospitality begins here: not with our effort or competence, but with God’s generosity toward us.

So what can we do to grow in this work?

Take small steps, often. 

A simple introduction to the person sitting behind you at the end of the service. A question in the coffee line about what brought someone to church. Turning to someone you don’t know as you wait for your sausage sizzle. Reintroducing yourself to someone you met last Sunday (whether or not you remember their name!).

These can all be the beginning of something meaningful, whether you are meeting someone who is brand new to church or simply new to you. 

Imagine if every person in our church sought to make one new friend this year. Not just someone we recognise and say hello to on a Sunday,  someone whose story we know, whose joys and griefs we share, someone we can encourage and point to Jesus.

The little moments add up. Over time and with intention, may we see the warmth and generosity of the gospel become increasingly visible among us.

And pray!

Pray that we would be a people shaped by the love of God. In Ephesians 3, Paul prays that God’s people would grasp the immeasurability of Christ’s love. The more deeply we understand the boundless love of God, the more naturally we will overflow with that love to others. 

Pray that God would help us dwell in the wide, long, high and deep love of Jesus – the sort of love that turns enemies into children. May our church become known as a place where that same love turns strangers into friends!

Heavenly Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 

We pray that out of your glorious riches you may strengthen us with power through your Spirit in our inner beings, so that Christ may dwell in our hearts through faith. 

We pray that we would be rooted and established in love, and have power, together with all your holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge, that we may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. 

Lord, you are able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to your power that is at work within us – to you be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! 

Amen.